Him: He was my kind of man.
Me: Why?
Him: 1.Savy and thrifty shopper, 2.Loved to cook, 3.Made his own marinade
Please, I say about ten times as many gay things as what makes it up on that dumb site.
What I need is a man-sized pillow, something to really hold on to.
Him: The reason I liked you was because when we first talked on the phone you had a low voice.
Me: Like a man’s voice?
He giggles.
She (Robin Wright) should totally have sex with him (Ben Daniels). I know I would.
I feel like I’m in hell, but I was just in a state of rapture.
I wish they had balls, so I could just grab them.
Me: Anne Hathaway does not look good in that dress.
Him: Anne Hathaway doesn’t look good in anything. She’s an older version of Julia Roberts.
I’m not a hater, I like Daniel Radcliffe.
Him: Why is Arsenio wearing a dress?
Me: That’s Robin Roberts, she just had a bone marrow transplant.
Him: Look if you don’t want me to be sassy, I don’t know if we can enjoy the Oscars together.