Me: Hey you know that green and pink pillow we have?
Him: Umm…you mean teal and fuscia.
Me: Curls are in!
Him: Yeah, like Jessica Alba two years ago.
Me: Do you still want me to buy you a long body pillow?
Him: Yes! As long as it’s thick!
Me: Not attractive (pointing to a beauty queen on TV).
Him: Ew, it’s hideous.
Me: I like how you call her “it.”
Him: Oh I was looking at her dress.
I’m going to do my fancy hair.
Me: Those are some tight jeans.
Him: Those are jeggings.
I’m not single, I’m busy!
Really? White socks with demi boots?
That girl is trying to play Dharma to his Greg.
I want to see the new Ryan Gosling movie…I’m a BIG Gos fan.
There is nothing wrong with going bald. I mean look at Woody Harrelson. Mmmhm.