Things My Straight Boyfriend Says
Turning on the air conditioning

I got way too hot earlier, and not just like Mario Lopez hot but John Stamos hot.

Showing him my new poncho

Me: I think I’m going to cut arm holes in it.

Him: I like it as is.

Me: But it looks so weird when I wear my it with my backpack.

Him: That’s because this is an outfit you wear with a nice clutch.

Me: You’re the woman in this relationship.

Him: Someone’s gotta be.

New episode!

Him: How’s your friend?

Me: Good, apparently she’s dating a dude with a big dick.

Him: How many inches?

Me: I didn’t ask.

Him: Ugh, you’re the worst.

Episode 4!!!

Episode 3

Episode 2

Episode 1

My friend: I want to go to a nude beach someday.

Him: (very proud) I showered with all the wrestling coaches on Friday!